If Your Goals Don't Make You Cry, Are They Even Goals?

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." – Jeremiah 29:11

As we stand at the beginning of a brand new year, it's customary to set goals, a roadmap for the months ahead…

We set goals because we want to feel these goals will lead to the success we envision.

But as you already know, at Feminine & Devoted, we don't start in the mind; we start about 18 inches below that: from our precious hearts.

This year, I invite you to join me in a different kind of goal-setting journey - one that's less about what we think we want and more about what God has planted deep within our hearts.

Two weeks ago, I was at a Goal Setting Mastermind event with a mentor and a room full of visionary entrepreneurs and professionals.

In the middle of a few of the exercises, I found myself unexpectedly moved to tears…

Goal setting and tears?

Yes 😭 But,

…these weren't tears of sadness or regret but of profound realization.

As I wrote in my notebook, God began to open my heart, uncovering the dreams He placed within me:

👑 Meeting the love of my life
👑 Starting life together
👑 Growing an incredible community of friends
👑 Having a family
👑 Serving together
👑 Buying my parents a home one day

In that moment, I discovered something profound: that true goals, the ones worth pursuing, emanate from these sacred inner depths of us.

Today I want to outline a simple framework:

💕 Your dreams fuel your goals
📝 Your goals fuel your habits
🏆 Your habits ensure all of it happens in God's timing

Ever since that Mastermind event, this poignant question has stayed with me: If your goals don't make you cry, are they even goals? It's not about literal tears; it's about the emotional resonance of our dreams.

Are our goals just items on a to-do list, or do they echo the deeper calling of how the Holy Spirit wants to live through us?

Here are 5 Mindsets To Develop To Ensure You Reach Your Goals This Year:

1. Create Goals That Are Excavated From Your Heart

Our first step is to excavate our goals from our hearts.

This is not a superficial “digging” but a prayerful journey inward, seeking guidance and inspiration from the Holy Spirit. Ask yourself, "What desires has God placed in my heart?"

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." – Psalm 37:4

A lot of times, we come up with lists of what we think we want, but after some time spent with God and asking Him to change our desires to HIS desires, things that we didn't know we wanted begin to reveal themselves…

👑 What dreams move you to tears when you think about them?
👑 What things have you been pushing aside, ashamed to admit that you want?👑 What dreams have you told yourself are ridiculous and unrealistic?
…these are the things I want you to pull back out and declare that you desire them.

God desires your Yes and Amen to partner with you in making these dreams come true. While He is a sovereign God, He prefers to do these things alongside you, so give Him your desires and let Him do this with you. He's the one who put them in your heart in the first place 💕

2. Create Goals That Are Big and Audacious

God didn't call us to live a life of small dreams.

Our goals should reflect the magnitude of His power and promises. Let’s set goals that are as big and audacious as the God we serve, knowing that "With God all things are possible." – Matthew 19:26

In this step, we can tend to keep our goals one-dimensional, but my love, I encourage you to dive deep into your five senses...

What does that big and audacious goal look like? Smell like? Where are you? When is this? Who's with you? What are things you're smelling, tasting, feeling in this experience?

Allow your full womanly human experience to come alive because as we all know, the landscape of being a woman is rich in nature. We are the feelers of our species, meant to descend into our inner experience and let those things flow out from our hearts and bodies in a way that paints this Earth into a beautiful picture of LIFE.

After the light and the dark, the land and the water, the animals and Adam, we are the completion of Creation.

Therefore, I invite you to go all in on what your goals will look and feel like, because this ability to feel, visualize, and bring these experiences to life is a gift we all have.

3. Create Goals That Are Specific and Practical

While our dreams should be big, they also need to be specific and practical. This means breaking down our grand visions into achievable, tangible steps, grounded in reality.

So, how do we go from writing down a dream on a piece of paper to executing it in real life?

We use numbers and dates: and this is where many of us start to feel a bit nervous, but don't worry, we're not locking you into a deadline you can't achieve right now.

Some examples of specific and practical goals:

📝 I will have 30 brand conversations per month, landing me 5 dream clients at $2,000 each
📝 I will host 1 virtual workshop of my own each month and serve my community for free on every 15th day of each month
📝 I will appear as a guest on 2 peoples' podcasts per month, allowing me visibility in other peoples' communities
📝 I will book 2 photoshoots per month for my "40 Women Over 40" campaign
📝 I will post twice per day, 1 reel and 1 post on Instagram and focus my call-to-actions on growing my newsletter
📝 I will make a minimum of $10,000 revenue per month in my businesses combined.

I invite you to write a list of some things that are practical and specific for your personal brand. What are things that you would be happy to achieve?

We're just getting started because next, we're talking about developing habits, and this is where it gets fun...

4. Create Goals Based on Habits, Not Deadlines

Our focus should be on cultivating small habits bit-by-bit rather than chasing deadlines. Consistency in small things leads to significant achievements.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." – Galatians 6:9

The biggest problem with setting goals is that many of us still feel like we're failing in some areas of our lives, especially if we dislike deadlines. What I love about habits is that they're small enough wins to change our identity to that of a woman who wins 👑

Examples of habits written out that help me achieve my goals above:

📝 I will start my day with 60 minutes in prayer, Bible time, recording my health/fitness progress, getting sunrise in my eyes, ice bath, teeth care, putting on my makeup
📝 I will spend 20 minutes every morning reaching out to my top 25 prospects with the goal of building that relationship and booking brand audit calls
📝 I will spend 2 hours every morning writing for my newsletter
📝 I will spend 5 hours every Wednesday filming, post-producing, and scheduling the reels and posts that I'll be posting the week after
📝 I will allot Monday, Tuesday, Thursday for client calls (Wednesday for content creation and Friday for playtime)
📝 I will be at the gym from 4-6pm every day
📝 I will end my day glancing at my list of things I can CELEBRATE, tidying up my house, doing dishes, sweeping, setting my outfit and other things up that I'll need for the next day
📝 I'll stop looking at screens 1 hour prior to going to bed, I'll unplug my wifi before going to bed, prayer, supplements.

Some of the biggest things moving the needle right now in my personal brand are 1) Messaging prospects every single day with a focus on building relationships and 2) 2 hours of writing every morning.

For me, I chose a few anchor habits that I know I'm good at to be the thing I feel most successful in, so that as I'm building and changing other habits, I can be okay with feeling not-so-solid on those quite yet.

What daily, weekly, monthly habits do you need to create that will ensure your goals become a reality?

Habits carry a mystical utility – Instead of hyper focusing on your goals, when you stick with your habits, your goals will become a reality just by being consistent.

5. Create Goals That Include Your Family

The woman who leaves her family behind is missing one of the biggest things I've realized – that family is key to all of our growth as a woman. Without family, there's no reason to grow at all.

This final step reminds us to include our family in our goals. Our aspirations should not be solitary pursuits but a collective effort, enriching and being enriched by our loved ones.

For the goals that involve you being outside of the home, bring your family with you, include your husband and children in what you're doing as often as you can. Show your children what is possible out in the world through how you do things.

Goals that include your family are goals that are much more likely to be accomplished, because our family is our whole heart.

And for the women who don't have family yet, consider bringing your friends along for the ride (if they're friends who are on a growth path too!).

Let's simplify before you go deep into what you want:

📝 What are your top 3 personal goals for 2024?
📝 What are your top 3 professional goals for 2024?

Since that Mastermind event, I realized God left that door open to my heart and I'm very in touch with the things I desire for 2024.

May you begin to get in touch with the deeper things God's placed in your heart, so that your 2024 is filled with meaningful moments, healthy and thriving relationships, and memories that will last you a lifetime.

Pray it with me:

"God, thank you for placing your desires in my heart and for allowing me to feel what's possible for this next year ahead. May my goals be inspired by the dream you have for me, may I walk in your will as I write each of these goals and habits down. May you surround me with other women who inspire me to achieve these goals in a Godly manner and may the fruits of my accomplishments be proof that you are who you say you are, bringing more women to know the power, the goodness, and the truth of your love, Father. In Jesus's Mighty Name, Amen."

As we embark on this journey of setting heartfelt goals, let's do so with prayer, seeking God’s guidance and aligning our aspirations with His will. Together, let's embrace a year of purposeful living, grounded in faith and family.

Love you all,
Lauren

PS: Next week’s newsletter is going to dive into the topic of “How To Organize Your Mind For Effortless Content Creation”. If you are overwhelmed at the possibilities of how, what, and when to create content, or you don’t even know where to start, this newsletter is going to be perfect for you. Stay tuned…

PPS: I’m opening 4 spots for a personal brand audit and consult, if you feel like you’d like some expert eyes on your brand (even if you’re just starting out), please respond to this email with “Me 💕” and I’d be happy to book a complimentary Zoom session with you.

See you Queens next Saturday 👑